Woman in her 80s denied female carers in hospital and in her own home for intimate care

My mother has complicated long term medical conditions. She is in her 80's and recently had sepsis on top of everything else and was in ICU. She had a bladder infection so had to have a catheter that drew out all the urine and infection over a week, but because this kept clogging up, it was necessary to keep changing the internal catheter. This was done by male doctors who did not take much care, no gels or creams were used. Her skin became raw and painful in her intimate area. She very nearly died from sepsis, but was finally moved to a ward and asked for female nurses for the "intimate care." She was told they were short staffed and she mainly had male nurses. It soon became apparent that my mother was going to have to have a permanent catheter as part of her on going treatment. Without getting too complicated, her kidneys were in trouble. Her age and medical conditions ruled out dialysis. The long term catheter aids the kidneys by drawing off them along with other complicated medical treatment. Due to the immense and unnecessary pain my mother was in from the lack of care or understanding putting the catheter in and out, she refused all treatment. This was devastating for the family as we were told by the hospital doctors that without treatment she would be dead in a few weeks. Her reason for refusing treatment was the dreadful pain she was in from the catheter and the male doctors not taking basic care over her comfort in such an intimate area, she had had enough and did not want any male doctors or nurses near her. My Aunt who happens to be a doula, came in to visit my mother. It was her who went out and brought the necessary creams/gels to calm the area for a chance to heal and within a week my mother did go back on treatment. I feel had we had female doctors/nurses they would have been more sympathetic and gentle towards my mother's intimate parts and her physical discomfort. It wasn't just physical discomfort, it is also very intimidating and humiliating having male nurses for such intimate care.
We had more problems when she did come home. The care company that we now had to employ asked if she would accept male carers. She said "No." She is in her 80's, would often be alone in her home with the carers and feels very vulnerable. Unfortunately we had to sign a contract allowing male carers because the care company could not guarantee to cover all her shifts. We also have a mixture of male and female District Nurses, that come out to change the catheter every 12 weeks. We have noticed the female District Nurses will use the gel and the cream automatically but with the male District Nurses we have to be most insistent they use them as often they don't or will ignore my mother's request. We are left in a position where my elderly vulnerable mother desperately wants all female care for her own peace of mind and dignity and sadly it's not reality and it is a cause of much anxiety and distress everytime there is a change of catheter.